Haven’t posted since getting back from Ohio. Had several weeks of recuperating, a day or two of decent health. Murphy went to camp, which I’m going to write about in a more pleasant post, but this, unfortunately for you, Kind Reader, is not going to be a pleasant post. This post is about My Day Today.
So, here’s my day.
I wake up early, and as usual, my laptop won’t connect to our internet somehow. I can’t figure out what the problem is; sometimes it works great, other times it connects for two seconds, then disconnects over and over. It’s not the ISP; all the other computers in the house work fine, so it’s something in the way my laptop communicates with the router. Go figure.
I take my handful of meds with my coffee and breakfast and go to take a shower. I’ve been heartbroken about being out of my favorite soap and shampoo, made by Lush. Fragrance is Karma, a blend of patchouli and orange, which is strange because while I love patchouli, I hate orange. But it works. Anyway, on a whim, I look under the other sink in my bathroom in the box I keep my Lush treasures in, thinking there might be a sample of something else in there, and what do I find? TWO bars of Karma shampoo bars. I leave it to you to visualize the dancing of the happy dance naked in the bathroom, or not, as you prefer.
I take my shower, no mean feat for me. Taking a shower wipes me out, but I’m bright and shiny simply because of my Karma. I get dressed and go to work.
That’s where the trouble begins. My boss, BR, is not home, and her fiancee is, and obviously torqued off. They’ve been having issues lately, trying to see if they can save the relationship, and I think uh oh, maybe not! I sit down at the desk and sigh. The desk is piled HIGH with disorganized miscellaneous papers. Bills, mail, lesson notes, club info, catalogs, checks and payment receipts, tons of stuff to sift through before I can even begin to figure out what I need to be doing. There are three companies that I’m doing bookkeeping and administration for, each with a clearly marked inbox, yet only about half make it to the correct box. Of the remaining half, half go in the wrong box, and half are strewn all over the L shaped desk.
So I wade through the papers as much as I can. It’s so awkward for me because there are hundreds (literally) of notes scrawled on the backs of envelopes, on lined paper torn from legal pads, on torn up recycled scrap, all over everywhere, and I don’t like to mess up her piles,or delve too deeply into what it is, because I don’t know what’s personal, what’s confidential-none-of-even-an-admin’s-business, and what is stuff I’m supposed to deal with. I do my best and after about 40 minutes, I have a little bit of a clue; well, I found the mail, opened and sorted it, and figured out what bills need entering, as well as cleared a small work space.
I begin doing my thing, and run into the next snag. The printer was out of cyan ink for weeks, and hooray! they finally installed new cartridges! But the *%&$(+ HP machine (or the computer, actually, now that I think of it, it has to be the computer) still thinks the cyan ink is out. Despite the lovely ink indicator widget that shows it’s full. I have a work around that manages for a while, maybe an hour or so. BR comes home, obviously torqued off, and in a rush, because a client is at the door. She needs copies of the intake forms, which I manage to print for her, and she asks for several more copies for later. I start trying to diagnose the problem. I align the cartridge. I clean the print heads. I check there’s no tape over the thingys. I reboot the printer. I re-install the cartridge through the program on the printer. Nothing works. I try the help forum on HP; astoundingly unhelpful. I finally decide to reboot the computer.
Disaster. The laptop will not boot back up. I try and try and try, for fifteen to twenty minutes, same thing every time; the computer stops booting really early in the sequence. Finally, radically, in an effort to NOT have to take the laptop to the repair shop, I try accessing the BIOS during boot up- it works! Get to the BIOS menu, continue boot up from there, and magically, it works.
By this time, it’s almost time for me to leave. I tidy up and write BR a note. The same note that I’ve now written three times. I need her bank statement from May, in order to reconcile her account. That’s right, I said MAY. Her bank account is online, and if I ask her to log in while I am there, she gets all flustered and upset and can’t remember how to log in. So I’m trying to get her to print it out for me when no one is looking over her shoulder. You need to understand that BR uses her debit card for EVERYTHING and keeps no record, so at the end of the month I have to enter a hundred or so individual debits into QB to keep her account equal to the bank. Now, add to all this knowledge the fact that she pays in and out of ALL THREE separate companies; a trust from her parents, her personal, and the business account; she pays in and out of all three accounts sort of indiscriminately. No funny business at all, don’t misunderstand, just a disorganized mind and a poor understanding of accounting.
In the note, I also ask again about the mortgage bill, which here on the 6th of the month, I have not seen yet (due on the 1st). She has no clue. She will go and pay it at the bank, with a check I will have no record of, and I will also have no record of the principal vs interest on her adjustable rate mortgage to post. Sigh.
So, for three more-complicated-than-they-need-to-be accounts, I work three hours, twice a week. How much can I realistically get done? Pretty much the only productive, necessary thing I got done today was putting the business deposit together to take to the bank.
The one good thing about the work situation is that both of them, BR in particular, don’t usually take their stress out on me; they speak civilly to me at worst, and nicely most of the time, but seriously, the tension in the house is ungodly. I’m so glad they don’t have kids.
So I come home. Too tired to go to the bank, and not enough time, really. I get a phone call from Murphy’s school; they want me to come work for them. Gratis, of course. Dear god. Really? You’re going to do this to me now? They need someone in the office two days a week, 8 am to 2 pm and since we’re applying for a scholarship and all….. I’m freaking out; first of all I’m driving, and I hate talking on the phone while driving, but when I saw it was the school… well you know I’m a catastrophic thinker. I’ve got all these thoughts in my head – what if this is a threat to our scholarship? Why, just when I was getting some bites on paid fiber ed jobs? Why, when last week I couldn’t even walk without a cane and my brain is turning to mush besides? But maybe if I was volunteering, it could turn into a paid position, and she even said as much, and how cool would that be? I explain my situation a bit, and say I’ll talk it over with the Beloved and get back to her. And I’m home.
I have a doctor’s appointment at 1:30. I’m famished, but the only quick food at hand is tuna salad, and I took pity on the poor doc and opted for rice cakes and vegan cream cheese. Tidy myself up, leave, and am at my appointment 10 minutes early.
Now, I take the 1:30 appt because it’s the first appointment after lunch, and theoretically, they shouldn’t be behind. So, I sit and wait, and knit, and sit…. actually, today the wait actually wasn’t bad, only about 20 minutes or so. From the appointment time. I limp in to the prep room, get weighed (if you had an appointment every day, they would still weigh you. Drives me nuts.) I note that I have gained about four pounds in two weeks; partly due to fluid retention, and partly due to old habits slipping back in. I’ve been so stressed, and so immobile to fix my own meals as much, that I’m starting to make poor choices again, which feeds more poor choices. This has to stop now. They take my blood pressure, 120/90. My diastolic tends toward the high, but no one in this office has ever even commented on it. Mostly, it hasn’t been that high, but like I said, I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.
I head towards the exam room; they asked why am I here? Duh, cause he told me to make an appointment for two weeks last time! I give the poor nurse a break and say for Fibromyalgia follow up. She asks my pain level, and actually, it’s not horrible, so I say 6. She says, the doctor will be in shortly. So I sit, and I knit, and I sit, and I sit…. The longer I sit, the more my pain worsens. I do focused breathing while knitting, and it helps a bit. Finally, the doctor comes in. He’s pleasant, as he always is. I do note that since I took my husband with me, he does seem to take me more seriously; don’t know if that has anything to do with it, or if it has more to do with an actual diagnosis by someone he thinks is smarter than him, but either way, it works.
He asks “What can we do for you today,” and again, I think YOU wanted me to come in. I ask about the ultrasound of my thyroid I had last week, and he’s flustered, he hasn’t seen it. I ask about the status of the consults I’m supposed to be getting: ENT, GI, PT, Rheumatology; again, he knows nothing. I ask about the preauthorization he was going to get for my thyroid med that is no longer covered, and the Lyrica we wanted to start; again, nothing. He says “you haven’t heard anything?” I’m supposed to hear?
He goes to check on those things with the nurses in the office, and I sit. and knit, and sit. While I sit my doctor visits two other people and a pharmaceutical rep. I know that he did, because the walls are so thin that even with the doors closed I can hear what’s being said. I even heard the nurse discuss the approach to take with Medicaid in approving my meds. I sit, and I sit, and I sit. The longer I sit in that horrible chair, the worse my back is getting, and my pain has moved from a 6 to an 8. I’ve had no pain med today, and I’m miserable. I’m shifting around in my seat like a hyperactive 5 year old at a birthday party – in a candy store!
Finally, he comes back, tells me the work around we’re using with the meds, so I’ll get them tomorrow. Tells me they’re still working on the consults, and tells me the u/s showed my thyroid was slightly enlarged, but not enough to cause the trouble swallowing I’m having. He can’t think what might be causing it, and says the ENT will figure it out. If I ever see him.
He makes the mistake of asking if there’s anything else he can do for me. Well, yes, there is. I feel shaky in the afternoons. My hands and sometimes my legs, have tremors, sometimes (not often) bad enough that it’s hard to knit. This is a problem, since I’m currently trying to earn a living (unsuccessfully, but he doesn’t need to know that) by knitting. To my surprise, he actually pays attention to this one. He does a bunch of “touch your nose” type neuro tests, and while I pass, he can visually see my hands shaking. He’s not quite sure what to do about this either, and starts thinking about a new med, and I stop him. I’d rather know WHY. We decide that until it gets worse or there’s other symptoms, we’ll just “watch” it. I leave with new meds called in, still waiting for consults, with an appointment guess when? Two weeks.
I’m really grateful to be able to see a doctor; I know a lot of people aren’t able to, people in worse shape than me. But still, I think, here is medicine at the bottom of the barrel. Literally across the parking lot is a Complimentary Doctor I’d love to go to; a doctor that blends “alternative” medicine with “regular” medicine, who has an open mind, who could provide treatment and medication and testing that is simply not available to those on Medicaid. I know that his office is private enough not to hear other people in the hall or even across the hall. Instead, I have a doctor who seems less than sure of himself, who doesn’t seem to understand a lot of what I say,or what I’m going through (although, I must admit, he was much better today!) in a clinic with paper thin walls and a door that must be unlocked to let you into the examining area. I would LOVE to see a chiropractor, and it’s even covered on Medi-Cal (though I’m not sure about the new Gold Coast (ptooey), but that doesn’t matter much when there isn’t a single one that accepts it. PT would help a lot too, but the consult for that has been pending for 2 months, as have all the others listed above.
So anyway, I get my appointment scheduled and get ready to leave. Suddenly, my phone rings. Now, when I went home between work and doctor, the Beloved was out cold on the couch. I got my snack, cleaned up and left with him still snoring. I forgot that today was Murphy’s first real day back at school, and he needed to be picked up at 2:30. My phone rang at 2:57. It’s the Beloved. No one had picked up Murphy. He seems a bit annoyed. The Beloved does drive him to school in the morning, and I usually pick him up, but with the crappy day I’ve been having, coupled with it being the first full day and me forgetting to set my alarm, the appointment that I didn’t expect to last an hour and a half, and the fact that the Beloved had passed out as soon as he got back from dropping him off, and slept through my noon visit, I thought he’d probably be awake to pick him up. Of course, he didn’t know what kind of a day I was having; the last time he saw me I was doing the dance of joy. A wee bit of a miscommunication deal here. So, I go pick up Murphy and drive home, not looking forward to soccer practice at 4:30. Thank goodness, the Beloved agreed to that duty, and even said he’d get pizza for dinner, so I can rest. Instead, I wrote this train wreck of a journal entry. Helped to get it out anyway. It’s now almost six o’clock; hopefully the rest of the evening will be peaceful; tomorrow is Murphy’s birthday and I have a TON of stuff to do. Sigh.
You know with the exception of a few major meltdown days a month (you know what I mean girls…) I’m really a very happy person.