Happy Father’s Day!

There’s a few trains running through my thoughts, and I often lose their tracks with the ADD thing, so I’ll try to remember to note them, at least, so I can get back to them later.

First; Father’s Day.  I feel terrible, because I let both of the important fathers in my life down.  Didn’t even get a chance to call my own father.  Will make a point of it tomorrow; usually Father’s Day comes first, and I call/gift for that, and then skip his birthday.  So tomorrow, his birthday, I’ll call.  I wish I could do more, but limited funds prohibit it.  Then there’s the father of my own children, who is such an amazing dad.  Sent for a gift for him, but it won’t get here until tomorrow.  Murphy made him a gift, but left it at Primary, and when he went back for it, the teacher was gone, probably having taken it home with her, so he’ll get it next week, we hope. Eric did manage to make a card, which was lovely. We did take him out for dinner, which is becoming a rare treat, and then I made a peanut butter chocolate pie, which he loved.

The dinner was the second train; we went to Sea Fresh.  It took me quite a long time of contemplating; would I get seafood, or really and truly commit to the vegan lifestyle.  I’m happy to report that I ordered the Tofu Teriyaki Bowl.  It’s quite probable that the teriyaki was not strictly vegan, but I simply can’t get that obsessive yet; one step at a time.   I’m still sorting out what’s important to me, what I can live with, what will help me achieve my ultimate goals, and what will help me be the me that I envision on the inside. I expect it will take quite some time for me to sort it out.  It feels really good to be trying though, to be working on what feels right to me.  Dietary Vegan vs Lifestyle Vegan blah blah and yeah, I know labels aren’t necessary or even good but I need to define things for ME, so I can know what I’m committing to, what I care about.  Process.  Time.

Cooking; last night I made non vegan bread for the family; we’ve had a sealed container of Knudsen bread machine mix up in the cabinet forever, and the beloved really wanted some.  So quick and easy; toss mix in the Kitchen Aid, add water, let the dough hook do the work.  Turned out well.  Today, I made Oatmeal bread for me.  It was fairly easy too; but I think I forgot the sugar (recipe called for brown sugar, I couldn’t find any in the cupboard, so planned to just sub regular/molasses, but think I forgot it completely.)    It turned out ok; fairly light,  nice crumb, but not much flavor, probably due to the sugar issue. Will try again.  Then made the Chocolate Peanut Butter pie; wow that is incredible!  So rich!  I’m going to have to do the nutrition on it; I’m thinking it’s horrible but it may not be as bad as I think.  It’s chocolate chips and silken tofu, peanut butter, soymilk, sugar.  Because it was for Peru, subbed Splenda for the sugar.  Warned him it is still way high in simple carbs;  but again, it’s so rich you only need a tiny sliver.

The  last train (that I can keep track of, anyway!) is my hair.  Well, my appearance in general.  But specifically the hair.  I’ve been feeling so old (turning fifty this year is really doing a number on me!) that I really needed to do something.  And I do tend to do drastic things to my hair when I’m in crisis/change/upset mode.  I did have my asbestos friend Barbara trim it for me when she was here recently; it was so long and scraggly looking, damaged at the ends and such.  The trim helped. But still gray/white hair is OLD.  It certainly doesn’t help when you’re looking for a job.  So I decided to henna it.  I’m actually really pleased at how it turned out.   I found a great site (mehandi.com) where you can buy really good quality henna and indigo in bulk, which will save money in the long run over the old chemical kits I used to use, and has the added bonus of being, well, not chemicals, and also GOOD for my hair.  It feels amazing.   I took this picture with my phone, and shockingly enough I actually LIKE it.  I never like showing my picture.  I’m taking it as a sign that I’m liking myself better, because I’m making the changes I want to make, getting healthier mentally and physically, making progress. Here in my mid-life crisis. Bwahahahah.

I’ll try to get a picture of the pie before it gets devoured.  Need more food pics!  I just end up wanting to eat before I can think about taking  a  picture!

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