New definition: Profound Fatigue

Yesterday was my worst day yet.  I woke up with every muscle  fiber in my body screaming with pain and a headache that actually made it hard to see.  I was so exhausted that talking took more effort than I could muster.   It was a very, very long day.

I thought I had been exhausted before, but yesterday introduced me to the concept of “Profound Fatigue” (how CFS is defined) and I thought about the word exhausted, what it really means.

exhausted

ex·haust

1. to drain of strength or energy, wear out, or fatigue greatly, as a person: I have exhausted myself working.

2. to use up or consume completely; expend the whole of: He exhausted a fortune in stock-market speculation.

3. to draw out all that is essential in (a subject, topic, etc.); treat or study thoroughly.

4. to empty by drawing out the contents: to exhaust a tank of fuel oil.

5. to create a vacuum in.

6. to draw out or drain off completely.

7. to deprive wholly of useful or essential properties, possessions, resources, etc.

I have been tired, but not like this before.  What is terrifying is the thought that this level of exhaustion can be reached simply by sitting at a desk for four hours two days in a row.

I may also be sick, like with a cold; I have a sore throat, a mildly (for me) elevated temp, and vague “cold”-ish symptoms.  I thought it was just a reaction to dust Friday night, as I helped the Beloved clean the heating filter. He and Murph have been really badly snorky for several days despite rain, and he thought it might be just too much dust from the ductwork.  So we cleaned it (which for me meant standing on one side of the filter with him on the other, so he could vacuum it) and everyone was worse that night, which is reasonable.  But I’m still with the sore throat and post nasal drip and swollen glands, so who knows.

Anyway, yesterday was spent often just staring into space, because I couldn’t move to do anything.  Even watching TV was beyond my mental scope.  I did get some spinning done, which was nice; it only involves moving my ankles a bit so at least I could feel somewhat productive.  I tried to crochet but couldn’t hold my arms up.  After noon, I broke down and took some heavy duty meds, which helped relieve the pain to the point where I could eat.

It’s now early Sunday, and I’m doing a bit better.  I can type, the headache is only a dull roar, and I’m actually thinking about making myself some breakfast.

It’s terrifying though to think that I have to work tomorrow.  Bobbye is nice, and understands chronic illness, but we need the money so much I can’t pass up the opportunity to work when I have it.

The other really frustrating thing  is that now that I have insurance, I can’t find a doctor that accepts it, much less a doctor that is knowledgeable in alternative treatments for Hashi’s or conversant with CFS.  Fun times.

Anyway, it’s off to make chia pudding for breakfast, and just maybe, if I’m feeling strong enough, I’ll make COFFEE! (Never thought I’d see the day when I was too tired to make coffee!)

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. asbestos
    Feb 20, 2011 @ 11:40:29

    I’m sorry you feel so awful. Scary. You’re probably right that you’re sick (virally) on top of everything else and it compounds what’s already there. Doesn’t make you feel better, but at least you won’t feel like this forever.
    BIG HUGS!

    Reply

  2. Jola Gayle
    Feb 20, 2011 @ 12:11:05

    Ah, so! I didn’t know you’d gotten a new job. Congrats! OTOH, I’m sorry the CFS is flaring up so much. Think it’s nerves over the new job?

    Reply

    • Cherizac
      Feb 20, 2011 @ 18:07:50

      It’s not a job, strictly speaking. I’m helping out with some filing type stuff for a few days. I’m grateful for the short term work, but I’m still looking for something regular.

      Reply

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