How bad can you feel?

Just when you think you’ve reached bottom, that you feel as bad as you can ever feel, you discover that it’s really a whole new level of lousy.

Friday was a wonderful day. It was our eleventh anniversary.  Since we’re currently living at “poor church mouse” level, I didn’t expect much in the way of celebration, except I  knew we’d probably go out to dinner alone, without the children, for a change.  Which we did, and it was lovely.  That would have been enough, really; he gives me  so many gifts every day I don’t need more.  However, the Beloved surprised me with three cards and  a gift.  I was amazed.

The cards were perfect, as always.  The Beloved and I have a slightly warped sense of humor, as evidenced by the April Fool’s Day Wedding.  So for the first card, it was sweet.

Who, us? Fight over the remote?  Never happen.

The second card was amusing.

The third card, as always, was a Sympathy card

I personally think he’s the one who needs sympathy, but if he sees it that way, who am I to argue?

Here’s the earrings:

As always, he has my taste down perfectly.  I love multi level, mixed metal jewelry.  Gorgeous.

How did I find a man with such good taste?  Lucky, lucky woman.

Then we went to Sea Fresh for dinner. Yum.  Serious yum.  I had Sesame encrusted Ahi Salad, with a citrus teriyaki dressing.  I even splurged and got the optional tempora veggies.  Yum yum yum.

The Beloved had the Ahi sandwich, sans bread, with onion rings.  He even shared.

Oh, I forgot; we got an appetizer!  The Monkey Dragon Sushi Roll;  awesome! Those chopsticks are blurry because I tried to get a picture before we dove in; barely made it!

It was a lovely anniversary.  But honestly, there is so much love in our house every day that it’s redundant to celebrate so extravagantly; though it won’t keep us from doing  it!

So, that’s the good stuff.  Here comes the not so good.

I woke up very slowly on Saturday.  Having had a lot of activity and excitement on Friday, I knew I’d be tired, so I woke up but didn’t get out of bed for hours.  I puttered on the computer and read, and listened to music, and got caught up on Craig Ferguson on DVR.  Made the video in the post below, which was a blast.  Then around 12:30, I got up to get dressed to go to Murphy’s baseball game.  Gave myself an hour, figured that would be plenty of time so I wouldn’t have to  rush.

Somehow though, at the time to leave, I found myself running around crazy collecting blankets and jackets and snacks and water bottles and pain meds to bring along, and by the time I got into the car, I felt AWFUL.  Seriously exhausted, headachy, and pain building everywhere.  So I took the pain meds I brought with me immediately. Without food.  Big, big mistake.  Watched the game, which was fun, but tough; the Padres took a beating, though Murph played really well, got a couple of great hits.  It was cold (again with the temperature changes; last weekend record lows, mid week record highs, and back to near record lows this weekend) and I’d worn sandals; feet and fingers were not happy.  Hubby offered his socks, the sweetheart. Came time to go, and I stood up to find I could barely make my legs move.  Even using the folding chair as a cane didn’t help much; it hurt my hands as much to lean on them as to walk.  Added to that was HORRIBLE nausea.  I knew I was going to throw up in the car if I didn’t get something in my stomach, so the whole way home I nibbled the granola I’d brought and not eaten, as I hadn’t been hungry.  Made it home without vomiting, though every bump and turn was agony.  Went right to bed, didn’t even take off my clothes or unpack my bag.  Slept about five hours, on and off.  Woke up just in time to say good night to Murphy. Ate some dinner the Beloved had left for me.  Watched TV with him, but felt so incredibly bad I kept tearing up in pain and frustration.  Medicated again, though I’m terrified my practitioner will not renew my dwindling pain prescription.   Spent the rest of the evening snuggling on the couch.  Then slept a full night.

I feel a bit better this morning but there’s so much to do.  Laundry is overflowing, taxes need to get filed, knitting for money needs to be done.  Never mind the normal household stuff, which the poor Beloved is having to do more and more by himself.

I think I need another tour through “How to be Sick” by Toni Bernard.  I never did get around to making notes on it, so I can keep a pocket reference.  I think it’ll help.  But mostly I just have to learn how to stop to think in the middle of feeling so bad, not let it overwhelm me, so that I can redirect my energies.

I really want to cook today; I want to make Amish Friendship Bread starter. If anyone is interested in receiving a starter kit, let me know, I’m happy to enable others. I also want to make baked donuts.  Can you tell I’ve got a Carb Lust on?  I’ve been pretty good lately, eating mostly salad and veggies, so maybe I’ve earned a treat.  Will have to see if I can stay vertical that long though.  Maybe I can enlist Murphy and Eric to be gophers in the kitchen…

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kimberly
    Apr 03, 2011 @ 11:19:37

    Hang in there! First what a wonderful anniversary. You are both blessed. I know because I was blessed too. 😉
    Secondly, you are in my heart. Just take one step at a time. I know that some days, one day at a time is too much to handle. Making lists helps me. I order everything each day so that I do the important things first.
    I would love a starter. It sounds yummy.


  2. asbestos
    Apr 03, 2011 @ 13:28:45

    Big ups and big downs. Grateful for the good stuff. Really really really grateful because I remember life BP (Before Peru). And so sorry for you’re feeling awful. I still think you need to delegate more. You may not be able to delegate taxes, but you can delegate laundry. Actually, Toni’s book has notes in the back that sum up — if you can remember what’s in the front. I can’t really but I didn’t try too hard. I’m a big fan of Notes for When You Can’t Think. i’m a fan of notes anywho 🙂 Like — here is the checklist for Murphy’s games or other outings, taped to the wall, so anyone can put the bag together. And ALWAYS have a bag with things you might need, a blanket, heavy socks, bottle of water, snacks, etc. Put the meds in a bag with food and a note saying “must take with food”. When you can’t think, you do things that make it worse (cuz you can’t think), so you need a backup plan. I must say my recent pain experience is deepening my understanding of what you go thru — and what you can and cannot expect yourself to do.


  3. Jola Gayle
    Apr 04, 2011 @ 16:57:22

    That idea of the bags is a good one. Always have the necessary-items bag ready to go – make it a point to refurbish ASAP when you return. Keep a few pain meds in it WITH a snack. Set up things to make it so you operate on automatic without having to think and without getting flustered.

    With traveling so much now, my make up bag is a permanent thing. It has all my personal hygiene things, hair things, basic jewelry, and meds. It has everything I need, and I never put anything in it anywhere else so I can grab it and go with confidence I have what I need. I have a shoe bag. I have a set of clothes. I have my computer bag. I’ve had to assign my phone charger to the computer bag because I did keep forgetting it.

    Standardizing checklists for things you repeatedly do is good, too. We had one for camping when we used to that – it kept us from forgetting what we liked to have with us and important stuff, and it could be used to delegate. Once we were finished with the checklist, we had everything ready. Voila.

    Craig Ferguson? You’re warped. Warped I tell ya.


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